Not in the clubs. Not in the trauma. Not in the shame.

From a Catholic childhood and a secret world of pain, through Melbourne's gay club and drag scene, drug world, and deep self-hatred, Lawrence Prasad was sure he'd gone too far for God. Then, in a Catch The Fire meeting, the Father's love broke in—and nothing was the same.

In this raw, honest, and hope-filled memoir, Lawrence traces his journey:

• from abuse, abandonment, and orphan-hearted striving

• to a life-changing encounter with the Father's outrageous love

• to a slow, layered process of inner healing, restoration, and freedom

Along the way, he opens a window into the often-hidden world of pastors and leaders — sharing powerful stories of a mega-church pastor on the brink and a convicted catholic priest whose unmet needs were never safely held.

With compassion and clarity, he shows why inner healing and independent pastoral supervision are not luxuries, but lifelines.

 You'll discover:

• a practical, Spirit-led approach to inner healing

• how Jesus "time-travels" into your memories and meets you there

• why forgiveness is about your freedom, not their worthiness

• how identity as a beloved son or daughter changes everything

• why those who care for others must also have safe spaces to be cared for

If you've ever wondered whether God could really love you —with your history, your secrets, and your questions— this book is an invitation to let Him show you.